By  LPJ

Birthday singing and celebration during a funeral service? That’s unheard of, you might agree. But that’s exactly what happened at my nephew’s funeral/memorial service this week. Joyous and melancholy at the same time. Strangely fitting at the memorial and celebration of life of Bryant Jacob Bulao (son of Bert and Letty Bulao), a young man who turned 48 that day of his funeral. Smiles and soft laughter mingled with tears.

Bryant defied all odds brought by his ailment, mirrored vibrancy and maintained a positive outlook and disposition through his lifetime. Pastor Jason West’s message at the funeral service clinched it all. Addressing the attendees in the chapel, he said, “Because Bryant lived, life became better for each of you. He loved life … he loved deeply, in his relationships and friendships.”

The chapel at Oak Hill Memorial Park in San Jose, California was packed. Most of the over 100 attendees were friends that Bryant kept close from high school, from social and work interactions. They were young professionals, saddened by the departure of a remarkable man who continued to show deep appreciation and devotion to them until the day he died. Refusing to be disheartened by an incurable disease that led him to be part of a clinical trials program at Stanford, he allowed himself the enjoyment of time with friends at parties, camping, sports, outdoor activities, eat-outs, restaurant hopping, even when he was wheelchair-bound. His friends made sure he was comfortable at every occasion. He was reflective and contemplative, balanced with a fun and gregarious nature that endeared him to many.

The set-up at Oak Hill chapel was solemn and elegant. The closed casket was placed in front of an indented rocky wall with light waterfalls cascading over the rocks. White flowered wreaths and bouquets, most prominent of which was the flowing abundant arrangement on top of the casket, graced the setting. The one-hour program offered meaningful homilies by the chapel chaplain, good music and nostalgic tributes both sad and humorous. One of the songs that caused many tears was “All I ask of You” from the Phantom of the Opera, Bryant’s favorite, according to his sister Nikki and best friend Karen. Since that day was also Bryant’s 48th birthday, the attendees sang Happy Birthday — a curious rendition pinched between melancholy and joyful.

The reception after the service seemed like a birthday bash, complete with a huge birthday cake brought by Bryant’s best friends Mark and Karen. The lively chatter around the tables sprang from happy memories relived and celebrated. There were frequent bursts of laughter from tables surrounded by Bryant’s high school classmates (at Mt. Pleasant magnet school) turned close friends, and scores of colleagues from the Jabil company in San Jose. The conversations carried stories that reminisced the man who always will stay a part of their lives.

In the midst of sorrow, the family rejoices that Bryant (son of the sister of my deceased husband Stanley Jacob) is now in the loving presence and peace of God.

Linda P. Jacob